a body contact tie-sign is displayed whenever a social bond between two people expresses itself in the form of physical touching of one by the other.There are 14 main groups in which we can divide body contact tie signs…I’ll go over the ones that I found most interesting.
1: The hand Shake
“The strength of the tie-to-be or the tie-that-was is expressed in how far beyond the normal intensity of the hand shake the action goes. To express strong feeling the shaker must go beyond what is formally expected. The most common handshake amplifier is the left-hand-squeeze. As the formal right hands meet, the left hand comes forward, either to clasp the already clasped right hands, or the right arm, or the shoulder. “
It might even go further where the left arm goes around the back of the other person, causing an embrace.
“Even where the shakers are by personal style non-embracers, there is still a perceptible body leaning towards each other – tell tale, small intention movements of embracing that can go no further.”
Of course, this stuff only applies to two people that mutually want to meet eachother. Someone who doesn’t want to meet the other person, but is forced to do so, will most likely not lean toward his greeter. Imagine some pompous king who meets a diseased person. The king might be revolted by this person and lean back, away from the other person, away from his disease! While the opposite might happen with the diseased one, he will most likely WANT to meet the king, and in fact lean forward quite a bit, in his enthusiasm he might even try to grasp the kings elbow or even try to embrace him.
2: The body guide
Imagine a student who is being sent to the principals office. He knocks on the door, the principal opens the door and sees the student. The principal immediatly realises that this kid has done something wrong, putting the principal in the dominant position (even more so than he was before) He gently guides the student into his office by guiding him along with his hand on his back.
“It is in fact, one of the mild ways in which a host expresses his/her dominance of his/her guests who are momentarily in a weakened position.”
“used unwisely, it can quickly become pompous and patronizing!”.
3: The pat
This is a kind of half-embrace, in which the hand alone stands in for a full-body embrace.
“Children can be patted on almost any part of the body, but with adults it has to be restrained to the arm, shoulder, back or hand. If it is to be neutral, pats on adults’ head, buttocks, thighs or knees are either condescending or sexual.”
“adult head pats are usually considered rather mocking.”
4: The arm link
“In the majority of cases it is the female who hooks her hand through the bent arm of the male, as if for support and protection.”
“A minor version of it, the hand on shoulder, is sometimes preferred and is typical of situations where one male is busily persuading or explaining. It enables him to limit the movements of his companion and keep him within close proximity, to receive the full impact of the verbal delivery.”
5: The kiss
The kiss is usually only performed in public by younger couples. Which makes sence, since they are still getting to know eachother, therefor making more obvious and exaggerated tie-signs.
“The only occasions when an older-couple will behave like this in public are when they are parting for a long separation, or meeting after one, or have just come through some powerfull emotional experience together. A triumph, a disaster, or an escape from danger”.
“Other kinds of kisses can be scaled by how low or how high they are on the body. These are the status kisses. Starting at the top of the head with the parental kiss down onto the child’s crown region. This is a dominant kiss and when performed by one adult to another, it usually carries a mock-parental message.”
“Lower down the body, the hand kiss reflects an appropriatly lower-status. It is the kiss of reverence or formal deference and its subordinate message is boosted by the bow needed to carry it out. In earlier days, where a female had to be hand-kissed even by dominant males, the top-males avoided the bow by bringing the hand up to their mouths.”
6: The hand to head
“To allow one to come close to and touch the other’s head requires a strong personal bond of trust between the toucher and the one being touched. Go to touch a stranger’s arm and he will feel little alarm, go to touch his head and he immediatly becomes defensive.”